pluggedintheoverlord

Yeah?

[If you ask where babies come from, not even the spirits will be able to stop him]

[Nope, sorry, this is 100% serious here.]

Does it ever seem like the war's never over, even when it is? Or, y'know, is that just me?

Nah, it's not just you.

Fighting, negotiations, tactics... those are all just one part of war-- that's the part we're supposed to find glorious.

They don't mention the aftermath. Dealing with the losses, cleaning up the mess, rebuilding lost ties, watching families try to put themselves back together.

[He shrugs]

Turians, we're ah, we're sort of built for that kind of thing. We go through the training most of our lives, and we're supposed to be able to handle it. I honestly don't think anyone-- species or individual, ever really can.

But that's why we do what we can. We rely on one another, pick ourselves up and keep marching on.

So it may not feel like it's over just yet, but it does end. Eventually everything goes back to being that imperfect balance that tries so hard just to be decent.

[Right, turians. An entire species full of soldiers, so of course this would be old hat to Garrus. That explained why he'd been able to hold up so well, why he was fine even though the war had hit him just as hard as Joker. And, hell, Garrus wasn't the one sitting here with a huge glass of booze, feeling like his life was a mess. Shouldn't have said a word. Garrus could keep it together; so should he.]

Just seems like we've been going from one war to another, and... I dunno. I probably sound like an idiot.

You don't, no.

[Garrus shot him another look-- a kinder, softer one than the ones he'd given his human friend before, but still with enough of a sharp edge to make his point clear: he was being honest]

If you think about it, that's how these things go. One war trails off and explodes into another one. Sure there's a stretch of time, centuries if you take a look at the galaxy as a whole, but the fact of the matter is, old wounds are gonna run deep and they're gonna be reopened one way or another.

[He took a swig of his drink with a huff]

It's good job security if nothing else.

[He knocked back a little more of his kerosene. Grimaced a little, because shit, that burned.]

Yeah, well, I don't know about you, but I'd appreciate a breather. I think I could use a few weeks without a bomb being dropped on my head. Might be nice.

Huh. I'll drink to that.

The universe owes us one hell of a vacation.

We should go somewhere with a beach or something. Let's not bring Wrex.

And, hey, with a little luck, it might not even be on fire by the time we leave.

[What is his life that not having a place catch fire is lucky]

No, last time we went to a beach, Mordin set Wrex on fire and I wound up with a volleyball in my face.

We're not doing a beach.

Hey, the volleyball thing was totally your fault, Garrus. And I got fifty cred out of Wrex getting lit up, so I don't see the problem with any of this.

[It was too bad that the crew was such a sausage fest right now. The only girls aboard were either Joker's sister, stuck in an envirosuit, Kasumi-- who, okay, probably wouldn't be bad in a bikini, but he'd have to keep checking to make sure he had his wallet-- and a krogan. They needed some asari or something to liven things up.]

Uh huh.

No beach. Let's do a resort or something.

Yeah, okay, sure. More opportunities for property destruction, sounds like a great plan.

Well, if collateral is what you're worried about, we could always go to some sort of desolate wasteland.

We could have everyone sit quietly in a corner the whole time and they'd still attract trouble. Let's face it, Vakarian, you can dress us up, but you can't take us anywhere.

Not anywhere that you don't want on fire, at least.

Hah.

[A brief pause, and Garrus' voice is just a little softer.]

Would you believe it if I said I wouldn't take you guys any other way?

Yeah, I would. Might even agree with you.

[It wouldn't be right if everyone wasn't insane and violent and completely dysfunctional excuses for people. Like it or not, they were kind of more than just a crew; they were family.]

I kind of get the feeling I should be more worried about that than I am.

Nah, I get the feeling you'll never be able to be as worried about that as you should.

[He gave a brief snort of laughter.]

Yeah, probably. Gotten used to all you assholes and your shit.

[Joker got a look like he'd had a sudden realization; he turned to look at Garrus, regarding him with something like suspicion.]

...Wait a minute. When did you guys stop being those jerks I work with and start being my friends?

[He said 'friends' with about the same tone as someone else might have said 'mother-in-law'.]

Huh. I dunno.

[He's going to pour himself more brandy]

Here I thought we've been friends for a while.

[Turian pokerface get: IS HE REALLY HURT OR IS HE JUST FUCKING WITH YOU JOKER]

Learn something new every day.

[They didn't cover 'expressions of the craterfaced birdman' in flight school.]

So does this mean I have to stop calling you an asshole? Because I don't think that's gonna happen.

Nah, see, the beauty of friendship is being able to call one another 'asshole' with no repercussions.

For example-- you're an asshole.

See, now that you've put it like that, everything makes sense. It's all so clear to me now. You've opened my eyes to the true meaning of friendship.

[He should start writing a letter now: DEAR PRINCESS CELESTIA, TODAY I LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT FRIENDSHIP.]

You're lucky that you're just enough of an asshole to be worth liking, Garrus.

Now you're just being a kiss-ass.

[But Garrus smiles and dips his head, tossing it back so he can down his drink in one go]

Don't push your luck.

[He knocked back what was left in his glass and reached for the bottle. The pour was sloppy, but at least all of it got in the glass.]

[Garrus wants to say something, buuuuut he also figures that Joker's more than earned his right to complete, drunken oblivion]

If you pass out I'm not hauling your ass back to the crew quarters. Fair warning.

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