pluggedintheoverlord

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"Hey, this is Joker. Leave a message and I might get back to you. Unless you're trying to sell me something or I really just don't feel like talking to you-- in that case, take a hint and quit calling me."

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So far, you haven't actually given me an explanation for anything.

[Hey, you're the one who wanted to explain things to him, Anders. You started it.]

[That's because he didn't know Joker.]

Demons and spirits both exist; demons embody the worst of us, while spirits embody the best of us. Justice is one such spirit. He and I share a body.

That is the explanation.

[He sure didn't.]

Okay, let's just say that I believe you about the spirits and demons thing.

But aside from saying 'spirits good demons bad', what's the difference? I mean, you've basically just told me you're possessed by a demon, but it's okay because it's a slightly different flavor of demon. Not exactly comforting, y'know?

[And see, that's just the problem: Anders can no longer insist that Justice is in any way a benevolent spirit, that there is no chance he will go out of control. But that's not what he wants to say here.]

Justice does not wish to cause further chaos, or to harm innocent people. He seeks what his name suggests. You're in no danger from him now.

[Hope you didn't expect that wording to slip past Joker.]

Wait, wait, further chaos? What, has Judge Dredd here been a little trigger-happy in the past or something?

Are you expecting Justice to be mild?

[the worst of the chaos will happen in the future, anyway. Thank you, Marian, for telling him about that.]

I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be a complete asshole.

He's a friend.

[he just doesn't like you, Joker.]

[Join the club.]

Uh, y'know, if a guy takes over your body and goes batshit on people's asses, he might be kind of a shitty friend. Just sayin'.

If he goes batshit, it's due to my anger, not his.

[Anders is really doing a poor job of convincing Joker that he's not a security risk.]

And I'll take 'people I don't want to piss off' for a thousand, Trebek.

[yeah, he... does that.]

I doubt you can. Not to that extent.

[Anders, you clearly know nothing of Joker if you really think that. He can be very good at pissing people off.]

Yeah, that... still isn't real comforting.

[He knows the type. He was the type. Unbelievable though it seems.]

Are you going to try to upset me?

That implies that I have to try to piss people off.

[Sometimes it just kind of happens.]

You saw what happened to Hawke. Are you planning on doing anything like that?

Uh... do you mean going all creepy and monotone or making somebody go creepy and monotone? It's a no on both counts, but still.

The latter. Doing that to someone--

[can you blame him for being a tad bit upset?]

You're in no danger from me. I'm here to heal people.

The hell makes you think that I'd even be physically able to do whatever freaky brain damage made Hawke end up like that? That's not even mentioning the fact that even if I could, I wouldn't, because doing that to somebody is bullshit on a level even I wouldn't stoop to.