IC Contact

[pluggedintheoverlord]

 

"Hey, this is Joker.  Leave a message and I might get back to you.  Unless you're trying to sell me something or I really just don't feel like talking to you-- in that case, take a hint and quit calling me."

Comments

[audio]

[withastick]

It's not like I'm doing it on purpose!

I just hummed along to some of my music and then I got mobbed!

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Well, then you'd better start pied pipering these assholes off my ship again, because this is a military vessel, not a petting zoo.

[audio]

[withastick]

[WHINEWHINEWHINEWHINE]

But Jeff...!

[WHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINEWHINE]

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

No, I'm drawing the line at space cows. This isn't a farm, so get the livestock out of the cargo bay.

[audio]

[withastick]

But where else can I put them?

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

I don't care, so long as it's not on the Normandy.

[audio]

[withastick]

What if I put 'em on your fat head? Since, you know, it's so big it leaks outside the ship.

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Y'know, the quality of your insults has really been going downhill lately. Is 'fat head' seriously the best you can come up with?

[audio]

[withastick]

I have to act all princess-y so I can't call you what I really want to.

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Regardless of what our dad said, you're not actually a princess, Gunny.

[audio]

[withastick]

My sweet new dress says otherwise.

Re: [audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

There's a saying about lipstick and pigs that's appropriately hick for this situation.

Re: [audio]

[withastick]

...Did you seriously just call me a hick pig?

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Hate to say it, kid, but if the shoe fits...

[audio]

[withastick]

Hate to say it but we gots the same genes here, Jeff.

If I oink, you moo.

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

The difference between us is that I was raised in civilized society and you grew up in the boonies, rolling in mud and chasing pigs.

I'm sorry, Gunny, but you're a hick.

[audio]

[withastick]

Dad said pig wrestling and cleaning was all about building character and [she does her best 'Dad Voice'] learning the value of hard work.[End voice]

So thanks to that, I do all my chores without whining a single bit, unlike someone who just sat around the house drinking beer whenever he came to visit.

And it's also why I'm the favorite.

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Excuse you, I came home to relax because I was working my ass off in flight school. And, speaking of that, which one of us graduated top of his class and with so many honors that they didn't have time to mention them all at commencement? Oh right, that was me.

So yeah, try again, kid. I'm totally still the favorite.

[audio]

[withastick]

Still the favorite? C'mon, Jeff, I heard the stories. I don't think you were the favorite even when you were the only one.

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Stories of my exploits are slightly exaggerated.

I only blew up my bedroom once.

[audio]

[withastick]

Yyyyeaaah, thanks for that, by the way.

Every time I wanted to play with anything electronic, I had to go outside and as far away from the house, but still within eyesight, as I could.

Do you know how much of a pain in the ass that was?

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

[You can't see it, but Joker totally just kayne shrugged over here.]

You had more space to go mess around with stuff in. If I had like six hundred acres of property hanging around, I would've totally found someplace to set up shop.

[audio]

[withastick]

Who're you kidding? You would've set the entire farm on fire.

[audio]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

It would've only been a little bit of fire.

[audio]

[withastick]

More like all the fire.